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Get The Coffin, This 'Apple Watch' Review Will End You

While we love nothing more than a good roast in a one-star Yelp review... it’s the funny ones that actually have our hearts.

Which is why we had to share this one.

Titled Like an Apple Watch, Only Not, the review is on the classic-but-basic Casio digital watch.  

And yeah, the numbers it’s displaying? A schoolyard staple: 80085…. aka: ‘boobs’.

Let’s read on, shall we?

“I’ve always wanted a calculator watch,” writes reviewer Ethan.

“Now that I’m pushing 30, I felt that I’m an adult and I can do what I want and I want to buy a calculator watch, dammit.”

He goes on.

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“It’s great.  It has dual time, a stopwatch, alarm, tells the date and day of the week, AND A FRIGGIN’ CALCULATOR.

“If you wear it tightly enough, you can feel your pulse.

“So it’s like an Apple Watch only it costs under $20, has a 3 year manufacturer’s warranty, and the battery lasts five years.”

The kicker?

“Doesn’t send text messages, but you can write such words as ‘BOOBS’, ‘BOOBIES’, ‘BOOBLESS’, ‘BEES’ and ‘SHOE’.

“So if you’re a man of few words and your friend is right next to you, it’s basically the same as iMessage.”

We’re sold.

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