Kyle's New Children's Book
Last week the topic of sex education came up and Kyle revealed that he’d never read the book “Where Did I Come From?”. On Monday, Kyle read the first 3 chapters of the book, “Little People Are Made By Bigger People”, “Penis” and “Vagina.”
Kyle decided that the book was a little dated and you wanted to write his own ‘21st century’ version.
CHAPTER 1: Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Geoffrey.
The man loves the woman and the woman loves the man. But sometimes the man loves the man more than the woman. And sometimes the woman loves the woman more than the man. These people are called homosexuals or Gay couples. Some people might call them f***ts or d**s. But we will stick to gay couples.
Whoever you love the most, whether they are a man or woman, is who you will hold hands with. Only very, very mean people don’t like this, these people are called homophobes (Sounds like: Religious Sickos). You should ignore these people, no one likes them.
Sometimes when you love someone very much you want to kiss them and hug them very tightly. After a while the man’s penis becomes very hard and bigger than it is usually. It gets bigger because it has lots of work to do.
By this time, the man wants to get very close to the other man, because he is feeling very loving to him. And to get really close the best thing he can do is lie on top of him.
If they decide they want to make love, they do it in a different way to how a man and woman would do it. Because they have two dangly bits they need to find somewhere in the body where they can fit these dangly bits.
When two men make love, or when two women make love, it does not make a baby in their belly. But there are many other ways gay couples can have babies together which we will get into another time.
CHAPTER 2: When Uncle Bruce becomes Aunty Caitlyn.
When we are born, people tell us what gender we are, either a boy or girl. But sometimes, we don’t want to be that gender.
Some people feel like they are a boy trapped in a girl’s body or a girl trapped in a boy’s body.
This is fine, and if someone is unsure, they may want to try dressing in the other gender’s clothes to see if they like it.
If you decide you definitely don’t want to be the gender you were born as, you can change and tell people that you are transgender. Some people call them freaks, these people are f***wits. We will stick to transgender.
If you are transgender and want to change your body for good, you might look a bit different to most other men and women.
Let’s think of Uncle Bruce. Uncle Bruce decided he didn’t feel right being Bruce anymore and wanted to be called Aunty Caitlyn instead. Bruce decided to grow his hair long and wear women’s clothes.
Bruce then went to a special doctor and asked to take some special medication that stops hair growing where it normally would for a man. He then asked to have some breasts put on his body.
Now, if we looked at Bruce before he got into the bath, we would see that Bruce has breasts on top and then further down a penis. This is like a combination between a male and female.
If Bruce wants to, he can go to the doctor again and get rid of his dangly bit. Either way Bruce asks now that we call him a ‘her’, so we will do so because that is her choice.
The lesson is that we are allowed to be whoever we want to be.
CHAPTER 3: Uncle Jimmy, Aunty Jan and Uncle Geoffrey In The Bath
The man loves the woman. But sometimes the man doesn’t just want to love the one woman. And same with the woman, sometimes she wants to love more than one man.
They can still love someone very much, but every now and then, they might invite someone else to come over and join them in the bath. This is called an ‘open’ relationship.
Once they are all in the bath, they will give each other kisses. After a while they might all get excited and want to play which each other’s body parts in the bath.
It’s a difficult feeling to describe but if you can imagine a gentle tingly sort of tickle that starts in your stomach and spreads all over, that will give you some idea of what it’s like.
And as you know, when you’re feeling tickly, you wriggle about a bit. It’s just the same here, except it’s a special kind of wriggling.
When everyone has been wriggling so hard you think they’re both going to pop, they nearly do just that. All the rubbing up and down that’s been going on, ends in a tremendous big lovely shiver for everyone.
Illustrations: David Green