While we Aussie’s pride ourselves on our unique (and sometimes even adorable!) wildlife, there are some animals that we simply don’t want to have a bar of!
For every cute koala and cuddly baby kangaroo, there are a HEAP of animals we will try and avoid like the plague.
Namely, the stack of nasties that can kill us DEAD!
As we head into the warmer weather and spend more time in the great outdoors, here’s a handy guide to some critters that are best observed through a LONG telescope!
FUNNEL WEB SPIDERS
Whack it! WHACK IT WITH YOUR THONG!
Found mostly around Sydney (and usually lurking inside your shoe) funnel web’s are responsible for 13 recorded deaths, and countless serious bites.
The urban legends that funnel webs can jump at you or live at the bottom of your pool simply aren’t true, however they actually can kind of swim and breathe though air pockets so they CAN hold their breath in a pool for a few hours before the chlorine kills them….
Crocs are easily the most dangerous animal in the entire country.
They are big, aggressive, fast, territorial, and just look at that bastard leaping out of the water for crying out loud!
On average they kill two people A YEAR!
While these alien looking creatures may lull you into a false sense of security as they hypnotise you bobbing around like a weird looking lava lamp floating through the waves DON’T GET FOOLED!
Just ONE touch from the tentacles of this translucent twerp will send you to a watery grave quicker than any other marine animal on the planet.
Found in the warm coastal waters of northern Australia all year round, we think we’d rather spend time eating some Aeroplane jelly instead.
EASTERN BROWN SNAKE
Firstly, don’t wear them as a necktie.
The eastern brown snake, or brown snake, is the world’s second most venomous land snake.
They are highly territorial and while their bite is generally painless it can lull some victims into a false sense of security.
Don’t muck around if you are bitten because if you don’t receive anti-venom YOU WILL DIE.
THE GREAT WHITE SHARK
While Great White numbers have dropped in Australian waters, the number of attacks have risen as they look for food due to the oceans being fished out.
According to the Australian Shark Attack File (ASAF), Great White, Tiger and Bull sharks made up 96 per cent of all fatal unprovoked shark attacks in Australia.
And you saw Jaws didn’t you?
Say no more.
Look, I’m not going to lie, bats are kind of cute in a ‘possum with fangs and wings’ kind of way.
Luckily Aussie bats don’t carry the rabies virus, however they DO have the ABLV which can be transmitted from bats to people.
While only three cases of human infection with ABLV have been recorded since 1996, do not be tempted to touch these little guys no matter how cute they look.
No, not even these super sweet ones wrapped up like adorable little bat sausage rolls that you may want to nibble on.
YOU’VE BEEN WARNED
These small but crafty little beggars are found right throughout Australia, in the wild as well as in the suburbs.
Redbacks like dry, sheltered spots like garden sheds, mailboxes and not forgetting under the dunny seat ya massive drongo.
There are a staggering 2,000 reports of redback bites each year and around 250 people receive antivenom.
So, there you go, here’s just a few Aussie animals best left the hell alone this summer (or any time for that matter!)
And to help soothe your nerves after all those deadly critters, here’s a baby koala being cute AF!