Cheating is deffo one of the big guns when it comes to completely annihilating a relationship, but there are a bunch of other things that can cause a relationship to die a slow death.
Stumbling across an old ‘Ask Reddit’ thread, we noticed the red flags to look out for was still solid.
And really, some of them seemed somewhat low-key and innocuous, but that’s exactly what makes them so toxic.
Here’s what stuck out to us:
1. Lying to and hiding things from your partner
Redditor canada432: “You should be able to tell your partner pretty much anything. If you’re hiding something because it would hurt them, then you probably shouldn’t do that thing in the first place.”
2. Withholding any kind of affection
Redditor Darth_Corleone said: “Some people NEED it. Others don’t function well without it.”
AvatarNuktuk explained further: “Everyone has a ‘love language’. My girlfriend likes me to touch her in some way… we were having issues early on and couldn’t figure out what the difference was. If we’d fight, I’d want to talk. She’d want a hug… we just know how to respond to each other better now… we aren’t all going to want the same style of love, but for goodness sake, show some effort and don’t just call it quits cause she wants to cuddle and you don’t!”
3. Harbouring quiet resentment
Reddior VoxMeretricis: “by the time resentment is expressed, the damage is already done” to the relationship. It starts out quietly but becomes something big over time, which is what makes it so damaging.
4. Lack of communication
Also being stubborn about things or refusing to compromise
Talking down to your partner to make yourself more powerful does nothing for a healthy relationship
Redditor messedfrombirth wrote that “it makes your self-esteem shit,” so even after the relationship ends, you still feel the damage.
6. Staying in a relationship out of convenience
This one’s from the same neighbourhood as condescension but it’s so super subtle, you sometimes don’t even realise it.
Redditor reallybigleg said: “the relationships that have left me ‘broken’ (both of which I left, by the way, so this isn’t a case of heartbreak…) have been through gradual loss of self-esteem during the relationship through a process of manipulation by the other partner.”
Even without actual cheating, just the suspicion can kill your relationship.
9. Presenting a untruthful version of yourself at the beginning
This can be as simple and small as pretending to like horror movies when you actually hate them, or as big as saying you’re not looking for anything serious when, in fact, you are. Not to mention how hard it is to keep up a pretence.
Redditor beaverteeth92 put it simply: “You’re together because you’re co-dependent and neither of you wants to be single”
Or in other words, the only reason you’re together is so you don’t have to be alone.